Why Love Hurts

A Sociological Explanation

Author: Eva Illouz

Publisher: John Wiley & Sons


Category: Social Science

Page: 304

View: 264

Few of us have been spared the agonies of intimate relationships. They come in many shapes: loving a man or a woman who will not commit to us, being heartbroken when we're abandoned by a lover, engaging in Sisyphean internet searches, coming back lonely from bars, parties, or blind dates, feeling bored in a relationship that is so much less than we had envisaged - these are only some of the ways in which the search for love is a difficult and often painful experience. Despite the widespread and almost collective character of these experiences, our culture insists they are the result of faulty or insufficiently mature psyches. For many, the Freudian idea that the family designs the pattern of an individual's erotic career has been the main explanation for why and how we fail to find or sustain love. Psychoanalysis and popular psychology have succeeded spectacularly in convincing us that individuals bear responsibility for the misery of their romantic and erotic lives. The purpose of this book is to change our way of thinking about what is wrong in modern relationships. The problem is not dysfunctional childhoods or insufficiently self-aware psyches, but rather the institutional forces shaping how we love. The argument of this book is that the modern romantic experience is shaped by a fundamental transformation in the ecology and architecture of romantic choice. The samples from which men and women choose a partner, the modes of evaluating prospective partners, the very importance of choice and autonomy and what people imagine to be the spectrum of their choices: all these aspects of choice have transformed the very core of the will, how we want a partner, the sense of worth bestowed by relationships, and the organization of desire. This book does to love what Marx did to commodities: it shows that it is shaped by social relations and institutions and that it circulates in a marketplace of unequal actors.

Why Love Hurts... and Why Self-Love Is the Key

Author: Keeley Taverner




Page: 80

View: 767

You might think, It's all very well saying 'self-love', but what does that mean, how do I actually go about doing it, and what does it have to do with my current problems? Self-love is not generic; it's as unique as your fingerprints and needs to be applied according to the battles that you're facing. This book is designed to wake you up, taking you on a journey where we break down why self-love is fundamental to your relationships and why getting 'woke' is the key that will revolutionise your love life. Discover why having 'a certain type' is a problem, how you inadvertently screw yourself over, and the unconscious processes that keep you repeating the same cycle again and again.You need this book if you:Feel baffled by your relationships and don't understand why loving someone results in so much pain.Settle for far less than you need and tolerate nonsense in the name of love.Struggle with having boundaries and feel that your partner (or ex) mistook your kindness for weakness.Always put your partner (or ex-partners) needs first and still end up feeling unwanted or unappreciated.Have started to become secretive about your love life and as a result, feel isolated and anxious.If you've answered, 'yes' to any of these, this book will provide the solace, comfort and insights that you have been looking for.Engaging, practical exercises expose the excuses that often keep you stuck, plus you will also gain invaluable insight into the process of change, how it occurs, why it's so hard and what you need to do to attain the love, that you know, at some level, you deserve. You will be guided and encouraged to see yourself as a work-in-progress so that you can choose self-compassion over self-condemnation. Light is at the end of the tunnel, and change is possible.More on the bookWhy Love Hurts is inspired by both my personal and professional experiences. Back in the late 90's I was in a 'give my all' relationship that resulted in domestic abuse. That experience changed my life exponentially and inspired my career. Today, I am a psychotherapist in private practice, and I am proud to bring my ideas and vision together in a book that comes from the heart, that breaks down why love hurts, what we can do about it, and how the change process really looks like.Bringing together years of knowledge and insights into an incredibly empowering read that has the potential to change your life, you will move beyond traditional self-help material and have an opportunity to do a deep dive into the unconscious dynamics that inform your intimate relationship patterns. This will provide you with crystal clear clarity about what steps need to be in place for you to revolutionise your life for you to experience the healthy, wholesome love that you know you deserve.

Depressive Love

A Social Pathology

Author: Emma Engdahl

Publisher: Routledge


Category: Social Science

Page: 122

View: 642

Love and depression are key elements in the cultural script of emotions or affectual life within contemporary Western society, and the two have become intertwined to such an extent that it is informative to talk about depressive love. Indeed, the most common source of depression is intimate relationships, in which one partner is not recognised by the other as being in need or worthy of loving care. This book addresses the question of how it is possible for opposite emotional experiences such as love and depression to appear simultaneously, empirically documenting the phenomenon of depressive love and its implications through studies of art, including music, literature and photography, and the experiences of everyday life, by way of interviews and the analysis of e-mail-, sms-, messenger-correspondence, and other new media spaces. Engaging with a range of sociological, psychoanalytic and philosophical theories of love, depression and emotion, including the work of Simmel, Alberoni, Barthes, Hochschild, Giddens, Luhmann, Beck and Beck-Gernsheim, Illouz, Bauman, Hegel, Honneth, Ehrenberg, Han, Lévinas, Sartre, Freud, Lacan, and Kristeva, to name but a few, the author examines the ways in which depressive love is expressed in modern society, asking whether it is a new phenomenon and confined to the West and if not, what is distinctive about depressive love and its associated (dys)functions in contemporary Western society. An empirically rich and theoretically broad study of depressive love as a sign of our times, this book will appeal to scholars and students of social theory and the sociology and philosophy of emotion and interpersonal relationships.

Edinburgh German Yearbook 11

Love, Eros, and Desire in Contemporary German-Language Literature and Culture

Author: Helmut Schmitz

Publisher: Boydell & Brewer



Page: 184

View: 207

New essays exploring the resurgence of the theme of romantic relationships and love in German literature since around the turn of the millennium.

Love Hurts

Author: Beverly Scudamore

Publisher: James Lorimer & Company


Category: Juvenile Fiction

Page: 144

View: 628

Mel's best friend Dustin is her dream guy, but she lost her chance with him last year and now he's seeing someone else. Enter Colter, the handsome new guy in school who is definitely interested in her. It's just the thing Mel needs to get her mind off Dustin. Before Mel realizes it, she's spending almost every waking moment with Colter, even skipping volleyball practices and nights out with friends. When Colter gives Mel a ring, alarm bells start ringing, and Mel worries that maybe they're moving too fast. But every time Mel tries to cool things down a bit, Colter latches on even tighter. Mel can't bring herself to leave him. But she is beginning to wonder what lengths Colter will go to if she does.

Love Hurts

The True Story of a Teen Romance, a Vicious Plot, and a Family Murdered

Author: Keith Elliot Greenberg

Publisher: Macmillan


Category: True Crime

Page: 256

View: 294

Alba, Texas. In 2008, Terry Caffey, a home health care aide and aspiring preacher, was asleep in his bedroom when he woke up to a barrage of bullets. His wife, Penny, was killed instantly. With blood pouring from five bullet wounds, among other serious injuries, Terry tried—but failed—to save his two youngest children before crawling out of his burning house. Meanwhile, Terry's sixteen-year-old daughter, Erin, was missing... Once Erin was found by local authorities, she claimed she had been kidnapped—but could not remember the details. It wasn't until Terry was fully conscious that he could explain what had really happened: He'd been shot, point-blank, by two young men. One of them he did not know; the other was Charlie James Wilkinson. Charlie was Erin's nineteen-year-old boyfriend, forbidden from entering the Caffey home. Until Erin helped Charlie come up with a plan to do away with her disapproving parents once and for all... Please note: This ebook edition does not contain photos that appeared in the print edition.

Love: A Very Short Introduction

Author: Ronald de Sousa

Publisher: OUP Oxford


Category: Psychology

Page: 152

View: 750

Although there are many kinds of love, erotic love has been celebrated in art and poetry as life's most rewarding and exalting experience, worth living and dying for and bringing out the best in ourselves. And yet it has excused, and even been thought to justify, the most reprehensible crimes. Why should this be? This Very Short Introduction explores this and other puzzling questions. Do we love someone for their virtue, their beauty, or their moral or other qualities? Are love's characteristic desires altruistic or selfish? Are there duties of love? What do the sciences - neuroscience, evolutionary and social psychology, and anthropology - tell us about love? Many of the answers we give to such questions are determined not so much by the facts of human nature as by the ideology of love. Ronald de Sousa considers some of the many paradoxes raised by love, looking at the different kinds of love - affections, affiliation, philia, storage, agape, but focusses on eros, or romantic love. He considers whether our conventional beliefs about love and sex are deeply irrational and argues that alternative conceptions of love and sex, although hard to formulate and live by, may be worth striving for. ABOUT THE SERIES: The Very Short Introductions series from Oxford University Press contains hundreds of titles in almost every subject area. These pocket-sized books are the perfect way to get ahead in a new subject quickly. Our expert authors combine facts, analysis, perspective, new ideas, and enthusiasm to make interesting and challenging topics highly readable.

When love hurts

Author: Vicki Tolver

Publisher: AuthorHouse


Category: Fiction

Page: 100

View: 312

Denese is looking for love in all the wrong places, but eventually finds it in a strangers arms after meeting him in the park. Swept off her feet by his charming and seductive ways, Denese had never felt so loved, until he almost loved her to death. Fighting to get away from Alex, Denese finds herself in the arms of another man.