What Would Kinky Do?

How to Unscrew a Screwed-Up World

Author: Kinky Friedman

Publisher: Macmillan

ISBN:

Category: Humor

Page: 288

View: 978

Kinky Friedman, who would be our contemporary Will Rogers if Will Rogers had been Jewish, smoked cigars, and foolish enough to believe he could govern the great state of Texas, returns with this collection of hilariously raunchy, sometimes poignant, and always insightful essays. With fearless wit and wisdom born from many a late night's experience, Kinky offers both pearls and cowpats that touch on life, death, and everything in between. Considering the current predicament of our nation and the world at large, the question is, "What would Kinky do?" His answers invoke Willie Nelson, Bob Dylan, Judy Garland, George Bush, and other cultural touchstones; reflect on Texas etiquette, smoking in bars, mullet haircuts, immigration policy, and how Don Imus died for our sins; and advise on how to handle a nonstop talker on a long flight, how to deliver the perfect air kiss, and what to do when a redneck hollers "Hey y'all, watch this!" Whether he's "the new Mark Twain" (Southern Living), "in a class with Oscar Wilde, Mark Twain, Will Rogers, and, yes, Henny Youngman" (The New York Post), "a Texas legend" (President George W. Bush), or "the Mother Teresa of literature" (Willie Nelson), Kinky Friedman is an outrageously funny and uncommonly smart observer of our common predicament: life and what to do about it. A little friendly advice from "Texas for Dummies" *Get you some brontosaurus-foreskin boots and a big ol' cowboy hat. Always remember, only two kinds of people can get away with wearing their hats indoors: cowboys and Jews. Try to be one of them. *Get your hair fixed right. If you're male, cut it into a "mullet" (short on the sides and top, long in the back---think Billy Ray Cyrus). If you're female, make it as big as possible, with lots of teasing and hair spray. If you can hide a buck knife in there, you're ready. *Buy you a big ol' pickup truck or a Cadillac. I myself drive a Yom Kippur Clipper. That's a Jewish Cadillac---stops on a dime and picks it up. *Don't be surprised to find small plastic bags of giant dill pickles in local convenience stores. *Everything goes better with picante sauce. No exceptions. *Don't tell us how you did it up there. Nobody cares.

Kinky Gazpacho

Life, Love & Spain

Author: Lori L. Tharps

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN:

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 206

View: 153

Recounts the author's experiences living in Spain as a young black woman, where she learns about the country's racial prejudices against blacks and falls in love with a Spaniard.

100 American Crime Writers

Author: S. Powell

Publisher: Springer

ISBN:

Category: Literary Criticism

Page: 373

View: 903

100 American Crime Writers features discussion and analysis of the lives of crime writers and their key works, examining the developments in American crime writing from the Golden Age to hardboiled detective fiction. This study is essential to scholars and an ideal introduction to crime fiction for anyone who enjoys this fascinating genre.

Kinky's Celebrity Pet Files

Author: Kinky Friedman

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN:

Category: Pets

Page: 224

View: 827

Kinky Friedman is not only a man of the people, he's a man of the animal kingdom. Kinky is a man who wears many hats -- not just a Stetson. Aside from being a politico, folksinger, and mystery author, he's also a longtime animal advocate and feels as passionately about his pets as he does about legislative reform. But rather than simply write about his own experiences, why shouldn't he include a few friends? Of course, Kinky's address book is unique, and he's taken full advantage. In his new collection, Kinky's Celebrity Pet Files, the Kinkster writes about his famous friends and their pets you've never met, each with a story as delightful and offbeat as the author himself. Kinky has gathered together an eclectic and extraordinary group of talented celebrity pals to talk about the subject nearest and dearest to their hearts: their pets. With candid, personal photos of the stars and their beloved animals and insider stories to match, the book is like a party only Kinky could throw, and the results are both entertaining and endearing. It's not your average celebrity pet book, because Kinky's not your average celebrity. He's got musicians, like Johnny Cash and his pig, Brian Wilson with his dog, and Willie Nelson doing his best horse whisperer impersonation; actors and comedians ranging from Phyllis Diller with Miss Kitty to Richard Pryor on a pygmy pony; and a lineup of writers, politicians, and some heroes of the past -- Bill Clinton, Joseph Heller, and Mark Twain, to name a few. Hilarious, oddball, heartwarming, and edgy all at once, Kinky's Celebrity Pet Files is a book for animal lovers, celebrity junkies, and anyone who just likes a good story. It's a little weird, it's completely charming, and it's 100 percent Kinky.

An Irish Doctor in Peace and at War

An Irish Country Novel

Author: Patrick Taylor

Publisher: Forge Books

ISBN:

Category: Fiction

Page: 416

View: 512

Doctor O'Reilly heeds the call to serve his country in Irish Doctor in Peace and At War, the new novel in Patrick Taylor's beloved Irish Country series Long before Doctor Fingal Flahertie O'Reilly became a fixture in the colourful Irish village of Ballybucklebo, he was a young M.B. with plans to marry midwife Dierdre Mawhinney. Those plans were complicated by the outbreak of World War II and the call of duty. Assigned to the HMS Warspite, a formidable 30,000-ton battleship, Surgeon Lieutenant O'Reilly soon found himself face-to-face with the hardships of war, tending to the dreadnought's crew of 1,200 as well as to the many casualties brought aboard. Life in Ballybuckebo is a far cry from the strife of war, but over two decades later O'Reilly and his younger colleagues still have plenty of challenges: an outbreak of German measles, the odd tropical disease, a hard-fought pie-baking contest, and a local man whose mule-headed adherence to tradition is standing in the way of his son's future. Now older and wiser, O'Reilly has prescriptions for whatever ails...until a secret from the past threatens to unravel his own peace of mind. Shifting deftly between two very different eras, Patrick Taylor's latest Irish Country novel reveals more about O'Reilly's tumultuous past, even as Ballybucklebo faces the future in its own singular fashion. At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

Fingal O'Reilly, Irish Doctor

An Irish Country Novel

Author: Patrick Taylor

Publisher: Forge Books

ISBN:

Category: Fiction

Page: 432

View: 772

Fans of Taylor's bestselling Irish Country novels know Dr. Fingal Flahertie O'Reilly as the irascible senior partner of a general practice in the colorful Irish village of Ballybucklebo. Newly married to his once long-lost sweetheart, he's ready to settle into domestic bliss, but there's always something requiring his attention, be it a riding accident, a difficult patient with a worrisome heart condition, a spot of grouse-hunting, or even some tricky shenanigans at the local dog races. The everyday complications of village life are very different from the challenges Fingal faced nearly thirty years earlier, when fresh out of medical school, the young Dr. O'Reilly accepts a post at the Aungier Street Dispensary, tending to the impoverished denizens of Dublin's tenement slums. Yet even as he tries to make a difference, Fingal's tireless devotion to his patients may cost him his own true love.... Shifting back and forth between the present and the past, Patrick Taylor's captivating Fingal O'Reilly, Irish Doctor, brings to life both the green young man O'Reilly once was and the canny village doctor readers have come to know and admire. At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

Is That What People Do?

The Selected Short Stories of Robert Sheckley

Author: Robert Sheckley

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN:

Category: Fiction

Page: 320

View: 630

More than three dozen of the best and most popular stories by the acknowledged master of the short science fiction story. The thirty-nine works contained in this volume-twenty-six from the author's ten other Open Road collections, plus thirteen additional pieces unique to this volume-include these vintage Sheckley stories: "The Eye of Reality," "The Language of Love," "The Accountant," "A Wind Is Rising," "The Robot Who Looked Like Me," "The Mnemone," "Warm," "The Native Problem," "Fishing Season," "Shape," "Beside Still Waters," "Silversmith Wishes," "Meanwhile, Back at the Bromide," "Fool's Mate," "Pilgrimage to Earth," "All the Things You Are," "The Store of the Worlds," "Seventh Victim," "Cordle to Onion to Carrot," "Is That What People Do?", "The Prize of Peril," "Fear in the Night," "Can You Feel Anything When I Do This?", "The Battle," "The Monsters," and "The Petrified World." This volume also includes the following uncollected Sheckley tales: "Five Minutes Early," "Miss Mouse and the Fourth Dimension," "The Skag Castle," "The Helping Hand," "The Last Days of (Parallel?) Earth," "The Future Lost," "Wild Talents, Inc.," "The Swamp," "The Future of Sex: Speculative Journalism," "The Life of Anybody," "Goodbye Forever to Mr. Pain," "The Shaggy Average American Man Story," "Shootout in the Toy Shop," and "How Pro Writers Really Write-or Try To."

What Would Susie Say?

Bullsh*t Wisdom About Love, Life and Comedy

Author: Susie Essman

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN:

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 256

View: 924

IN WHAT WOULD SUSIE SAY?, Susie Essman sheds the crasser layers to reveal how she went from an anxiety-ridden, struggling stand-up comic to being one of the funniest women on television, playing Susie Greene on HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm. Emerging as one of the most successful performers in her field, Essman goes behind the scenes of a life in comedy with her funny cohorts, including Joy Behar, Rodney Dangerfield, and, of course, Jeff Garlin and Larry David, while also providing sidesplittingly funny wisdom on a range of topics that she's highly unqualified to expound upon, including men, sports, hypochondria, and stepparenthood. WHAT WOULD SUSIE SAY ABOUT... MARRIAGE? "It took me a long time to find the man I was willing to commit myself to. Even the word commit is troublesome. One is committed to a mental institution." MEN WITH DOGS? "As a dog lover, I've researched many different breeds and I've begun to realize that you can tell a lot about a person by what breed of dog they choose to associate with. A bit self-conscious about your cellulite? A guy with a shar-pei is for you. They're hard to find, but cheaper than lipo." THE BEAUTY OF MENOPAUSE? "I guess I just have to accept the fact that I'm going to end up a bald, fat, sweaty, irritable woman with a dry vagina and a full beard who never sleeps and has memory loss so I won't even be able to remember how hot I used to look!" STEPPARENTHOOD? "My mother used to tell me 'you can't buy your kids' love.' Bullshit. You can, and it's exponential. They're like Russian mail-order brides -- the more you spend, the more they love you." WHAT WOULD SUSIE SAY? is Essman's irreverent, refreshingly candid, and hilarious retort to the dubious facts of life that we all face.