The State Of Affairs

Rethinking Infidelity - a book for anyone who has ever loved

Author: Esther Perel

Publisher: Hachette UK


Category: Self-Help

Page: 336

View: 879

***NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER*** Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Why do people cheat? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Infidelity is the ultimate betrayal. But does it have to be? Relationship therapist Esther Perel examines why people cheat, and unpacks why affairs are so traumatic; because they threaten our emotional security. In infidelity, she sees something unexpected - an expression of longing and loss. A must-read for anyone who has ever cheated or been cheated on, or who simply wants a new framework for understanding relationships. 'Esther Perel does nothing short of strip us of our deepest biases, remind us of our purpose in connecting as lovers, and save relationships that might otherwise sink into the sea-all with even-handed wisdom, fresh morality, and wise prose. Thank heavens for this woman.' - Lena Dunham 'Beautiful. A brilliantly intelligent plea for complexity, understanding, and - as always - kindness.' - Alain de Botton 'She's the guru on relationships... she's the first person I ask for advice' - Cara Delevingne 'Wisest sex therapist we ever did meet. Her new book, THE STATE OF AFFAIRS, proposes a new perspective on infidelity' - GRAZIA 'This is a must-have for all married couples and has completely changed my thinking.' - SUNDAY TIMES STYLE

The State of Affairs

Explorations in Infidelity and Commitment

Author: Jean Duncombe

Publisher: Psychology Press


Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 232

View: 895

This volume brings together contributions on the study of sexual affairs in committed personal relationships. The editors enlisted colleagues with varied theoretical and methodological perspectives from Britain, the United States, and other countries. Together, their contributions provide a broad, cross-national perspective on affairs. Grounded in theoretical discussion, the chapters in this book introduce data collected by a broad range of methods, including attitude surveys, large statistical cohort studies, case studies, depth interviews, and group discussions. A number of contributors locate the theoretical discussion of affairs within the broader contemporary ordering of committed relationships, contrasting the liberating and empowering aspects of affairs with the damage they may inflict on society as a whole and on the lives of individuals and families. The themes of passion, transgression, secrecy, lies, betrayal, and gossip are common to a range of chapters throughout. The volume provides broad literature reviews and theoretical discussions concerning particular aspects of affairs, such as communication and jealousy. In addition, case studies are used for the more detailed exploration of heterosexual affairs and contemporary developments in gay male and lesbian relationships. The State of Affairs will be of interest to researchers, scholars, and students in social psychology; communication; sociology; family, social, and clinical psychology; and for practitioners in couple counseling.


The State of Affairs: By Esther Perel. an Overview of the Causes of Infidelity and Potential Positive Outcomes.

Author: James Zimmerhoff

Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform



Page: 108

View: 773

The State Of Affairs Iconic couples' therapist and bestselling writer of Mating in Captivity Esther Perel returns with an intriguing look at relationships through the lens of adultery. An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this pervasive human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honored taboo, unsuccessfully universally forbidden? Why do people cheat especially those in happy marriages? Why does an infidelity hurt so much? When we declare adultery, what exactly do we mean? Do our unrealistic expectations of marriage direct us to betrayal? Is there such a thing as an infidelity-proof marriage? Is it possible to love several people at once? Can an affair ever improve a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case accounts with intelligent psychological and cultural analysis in this compelling book. For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it is possible to heal. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage with the same person. With the right strategy, couples can grow and learn from these disturbing experiences, together or apart. Infidelity, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships what we anticipate, what we think we desire, and what we feel like our right. They offer an unprecedented window into our individual and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and involvement. Through examining prohibited love from multiple angles, Perel invites us into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining examination of modern marriage in its many variations. Fiercely farsighted, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. Perel notes, "Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart." Perel develops 2006's Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence with an exciting study of relations. In this book, she establishes the controversial opinion that infidelity is eventually beneficial to marital bonds, and she successfully explores the ways that infidelity force partners to carefully examine their positions about love, commitment, and sex. But do not misunderstand, Perel does not promote infidelity. She dismisses the frequently used excuse that adultery is due to sex obsession and argues that emotional dishonesty is still cheating. "how are we to know what constitutes an affair?." Perel sensibly makes the case that if the betrayal has already happened, it's imperative that the experience provides a way forward whether that is to stay married or to split up. She bolsters her arguments with real-life examples from both heterosexual and same-sex relationships. The publication is sure to spark intelligent discussions that will have readers everywhere examining their belief systems. This topic is a thought-provoking take on relationships and essential reading for couples dealing with the affair. Infidelity has a lot to teach us about relationships, what we expect, what we think and desire, and what we feel entitled to, records Perel "They offer an unprecedented window into our particular and cultural attitudes regarding love, lust, and commitment." Using research and individual stories from her 30 years as a couples' therapist. The writer dives into the world of affairs: why men and women engage in them, what many consider "innocent" behavior versus flat-out wrongdoing. When the offended part discovers the affair, the rage, jealousy, guilt, and host of other emotions that flare up, and the full healing process, which determines if a couple will remain together or not. Perel reviews each affair with an open attitude, trying to get to the reason of why it happened and how each involved can view the same situation in a different light.

A short view of the state of affairs

with relation to Great Britain, for four years past

Author: William Pulteney Bath (Earl of)



Category: Great Britain

Page: 36

View: 585

Exam Prep for: The State of Affairs

Author: David Mason

Publisher: Rico Publications


Category: Education

Page: 800

View: 117

Statistics is a branch of mathematics that studies variability, as well as the random process that generates it, following laws of probability. This book provides over 2,000 Exam Prep questions and answers to accompany the text The State of Affairs Items include highly probable exam items: hypothesis test, Explanation, Nominal level, frequency, experimental design, Code, boxplot, Estimation, Placebo, longitudinal studies, Null hypothesis, Analysis of variance, Percentile, Pareto chart, and more.

The State of Affairs in Kansas

Speech of Hon. Henry Wilson, of Massachusetts, in the Senate, February 18, 1856 (Classic Reprint)

Author: Henry Wilson

Publisher: Forgotten Books


Category: History

Page: 24

View: 925

Excerpt from The State of Affairs in Kansas: Speech of Hon. Henry Wilson, of Massachusetts, in the Senate, February 18, 1856 Mr. Yulee. I have been listening with much interest to the Senator's remarks, and L desire to ask him, as he proceeds with his statements of fact, to refer us to the authority on which he relies. About the Publisher Forgotten Books publishes hundreds of thousands of rare and classic books. Find more at This book is a reproduction of an important historical work. Forgotten Books uses state-of-the-art technology to digitally reconstruct the work, preserving the original format whilst repairing imperfections present in the aged copy. In rare cases, an imperfection in the original, such as a blemish or missing page, may be replicated in our edition. We do, however, repair the vast majority of imperfections successfully; any imperfections that remain are intentionally left to preserve the state of such historical works.