'At 28 years old, I found myself living at home, with my 73-year-old father. As a child, my father never minced words, and when I screwed up, he had a way of cutting right through the bullshit and pointing out exactly why I was being an idiot. When I moved back in I was still, for the most part, an idiot. But this time, I was smart enough to write down all the things he said to me...' Meet Justin Halpern and his dad. Almost 1.5 million people follow Mr Halpern’s philosophical musings every day on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his sayings. What emerges is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father and son relationship from a major new comic voice. As Justin says at one point, his dad is ‘like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair’; and this is the sort of shit he says... ‘You know, sometimes it’s nice having you around. But now ain’t one of those times. Now gimmie the remote, we’re not watching this bullshit.’ ‘Happy Birthday, I didn’t get you a present... Oh, mom got you one? Well, that’s from me then, too – unless it’s shitty.’ ‘Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn’t stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down.’ ‘The worst thing you can be is a liar . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but THEN, number two is liar. Nazi 1, Liar 2.’ ‘Why the f**k would I want to live to 100? I’m 73 and shit’s starting to get boring. By the way, there’s no money left when I go, just fyi.’
‘Human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever's freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello. Then it ain't the unknown anymore and it ain't scary. Or I guess it could be a sh*tload scarier’ Sam Halpern Soon after Sh*t My Dad Says began to take off, comic writer Justin Halpern decided to take the plunge and propose to his then girlfriend. But before doing so, he asked his dad's advice, which was very, very simple (and surprisingly clean): 'Just take a day to think about it.' This book is the story of that trip down memory lane, a toe-curlingly honest pilgrim’s progress of teenage relationships, sex and love by one of the funniest writers at work today. Sh*t people say about Justin Halpern: ‘Ridiculously hilarious’ Chelsea Handler ‘Shoot-beer-out-your-nose funny’ Maxim ‘Funny, silly, honest, lively and fresh’ Sunday Times
Tributes to the Men Who Gave Us Life, Love, and Driving Lessons
Author: Susan Reynolds
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Children often have trouble telling their father how much they love him. Fortunately, this book expresses those emotions for them. This endearing collection of stories about the everyday heroics of the contributorsÆ fathers, and father figures, will show Dad how much he means to his children. From the story of a fly fishing trip that bonded father and daughter to the one that saw a friendÆs imposing father turn into the contributorÆs own loving father-figure, this wonderful book brings together tales of heroic dads from all walks of life, and is a great way for his kids to show him how much they care. And it lets dads everywhere know that they donÆt need to be daring to be heroicùthat it can be the little things that mean the most to his kids.
The Power of Vulnerable Conversations Between Fathers and Sons
Author: Romal Tune
Publisher: Augsburg Fortress Publishers
Category: Family & Relationships
From author and speaker Romal Tune and his son, Jordan, comes this tour de force about fathers, sons, and healing the unfinished business between them. Tune sits down with seventeen men for "I Wish My Dad" interviews and offers strategies to initiate your own vulnerable conversations, freeing you to have, and become, the kind of dad you wished for.
Bailey’s always been a good girl. She gets stellar grades in an effort to make her single dad proud. But when a make-out session with her high school boyfriend goes horribly wrong, Christopher Maddox, her dad’s best friend steps in. The alpha male is determined to show Bailey how real men handle a woman with curves. Chris Maddox is a successful real estate developer responsible for millions of dollars in property. He doesn’t date inexperienced, virginal young girls. But lately he’s noticed that his best buddy’s daughter is all grown up. Now, Bailey is all sass and swing, with a feisty personality and curves that beg to be noticed. He’s determined to stay hands off when it comes to this piece of temptation, but when Bailey begs for it, can he keep his promise? Who hasn’t dreamed about a hot older guy who barges in and catches you in the act? But Bailey’s powerful alpha male also happens to be her dad’s best friend! Be sure to have a tall glass of ice water nearby because you’ll be sweltering after reading this tale! No cheating, no cliffhangers, and always a HEA for my readers.
His name is Jimmy. They told us not to call him Dad any more. It might freak him out. The accident changed everything. Once, my Dad was the perfect father. We were the perfect family. Now he's got the mind of a ten-year-old. From one crazy day to the next, we lose a little more of the man we knew and loved. And then a shocking discovery about his past makes us question everything . . .
This book is the story of a businessman, World War II veteran, and most of all a loving father, who enjoyed making people's lives easier by inventing things. The author takes the reader through the journey of the hopes and disappointments he and his dad experienced during the process of the developing and marketing of the various inventions. His father's journey of inventing began in 1956 and ended in 2013. "I will never forget that cool Monday morning on June 28, 1965." That date was the beginn
Tuesdays with Morrie meets F My Life in this hilarious coming-of-age book about a son's relationship with his foul-mouthed father by the 29-year-old comedy writer who created the massively popular Twitter feed of the same name.
I thought my dad was paying my tuition, but instead it’s been his gorgeous Army friend footing the bill all along. Lorraine: Caleb Minor is my dad’s old Army buddy. He’s got a chest carved from wood and six pack abs that give new definition to the word “washboard.” Plus, I know he’s daddy material because … … he’s packing some *serious heat* that I can’t wait to see! But then I find out that my dad’s taken a loan of sorts. Actually, it’s not even a loan. Caleb’s been funding my college education because he says I’m the kind of woman who deserves to be appreciated. OMG! How did this happen? Of course, the businessman’s filthy rich so it’s not about the money … … but still, I want to pay him back somehow. I want to give Caleb something special and sweet, that belongs only to me … … and if it ends in a baby, then the handsome veteran will be a daddy again! This is a follow-up to Patty’s story in Too Hot To Handle. Here, we follow the tale of her sassy friend, Lorraine, who’s brainy, curvy, and a bad girl at heart. She’s got her sights on the hot DILF, but the feisty woman is far too clever for her own good, and ends up in a spot she never envisioned! This tale is filled with action, adventure, and a crazy over-the-top ending you’ll never believe! But of course, there’s a HEA for our couple filled with sparks, light shows, and even a daring rescue or two. Hang onto your hats for a ride into thrilling romance! No cheating, no cliffhangers, and always a HEA for my readers.