Mr. Funny Pants

Author: Michael Showalter

Publisher: Hachette UK


Category: Humor

Page: 288

View: 280

I was at my wit's end. I'd had enough of this job, this life, and my relationship had broken up. Should I eat chocolate, or go to India, or fall in love? Then I had a revelation: Why not do all three, in that order? And so it was that I embarked on a journey that was segmented into three parts and was then made into a major motion picture. Later, I woke up on an airplane with a hole in my face and a really bad hangover. I was ushered brusquely off the plane by my parents who took me to a rehab where I tested positive for coke, classic coke, special k (the drug), Special K (the cereal), mushrooms, pepperoni, and Restless Leg Syndrome. It was there that I first began painting with my feet. But rewind...the year was 1914. I was just a young German soldier serving in the trenches while simultaneously trying to destroy an evil ring with some help from an elf, a troll, and a giant sorcerer, all while cooking every recipe out of a Julia Child cookbook. What I'm trying to say is that there was a secret code hidden in a painting and I was looking for it with this girl who had a tattoo of a dragon! Let me clarify, it was the 1930s and a bunch of us were migrating out of Oklahoma, and I was this teenage wizard/CIA operative, okay? And, um then I floated off into the meta-verse as a ball of invisible energy that had no outer edge... Ugh, okay. None of this is true. I'm just kind of a normal guy from New Jersey who moved to New York, got into comedy, wrote this book about trying to write this book, and then moved to Alaska, became the mayor of a small town, spent $30,000 on underwear, and now I'm going to rule the world!!!

Biker's Handbook

Becoming Part of the Motorcycle Culture

Author: Jay Barbieri

Publisher: Motorbooks International


Category: Transportation

Page: 192

View: 378

Barbieri explains everything a new rider needs to know to become a real biker. By sharing the lessons he learned the hard way, Barbieri gives the new biker a head start to become more comfortable, credible, and knowledgeable about the motorcycle culture.

The Provocative Barbarian

Author: Samuel W. Geissinger Jr.

Publisher: AuthorHouse


Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 132

View: 922

Some will question what kind of man would volunteer during war time to enter into the United States Air Force in a law enforcement field and remain until retirement at age thirty-seven and help form a new United States Air Force while in conflict with North Korea, Vietnam, and the Bay of Pigs. Some will say that it’s barbaric even to temporarily adopt the characteristic of barbarism working undercover as a deputy United States sky marshal flying all over the world on Trans World Airlines, (TWA), owned by Howard Hughes, to protect our largest commercial (747) aircraft with three hundred fifty passengers and crew aboard from air piracy. We visited a different country every twenty four hours. They would also say the same for assuming a similar role as an undercover narcotics agent in the Bureau of Narcotics, Pennsylvania, office of attorney general, retiring again at age sixty-five with twenty-five years of duty. The barbarian role was assumed so often that sometimes it was difficult to put it down. There were critters (that’s not nice), people that I had to work with; rats (that’s not nice); and animals (that’s not nice either) that had to be arrested because they were very dangerous to our society. Sometimes my role was so important that I got arrested right along with everyone else during a big drug raid, just to protect the identity of the barbarian. I have to own the name of the barbarian—that’s obvious, but you’ll have to read on if you’re interested in a career that I’ve described to find out why it’s also provocative.

Meerkats and Murder

Author: Leslie Langtry

Publisher: Gemma Halliday Publishing


Category: Fiction

Page: 200

View: 389

From USA Today bestselling author Leslie Langtry comes a former CIA agent turned Girl Scout Troop leader, and a murder that will keep you guessing until the end! Just as Merry Wrath’s former career as a CIA agent seems to be fading into a distant memory, the agent turned Girl Scout troop leader discovers that her beloved little suburban ranch house may not be what it seems. When a masked gunman breaks in to demand the return of "Nye," she fears that she may not have been the first spy to live there. What…or who is "Nye?" And when Merry trips over the dead body of that same gunman later at the zoo, she realizes that her favorite king vulture and his mouthy scarlet macaw friend may be witnesses to a murder. Suddenly this becomes much more personal, and her list of suspects grows from a cosplaying teenaged demigod zookeeper, to a possible plot by the Russians... which may even include Merry's old arch-nemesis. Things aren’t going well for her Girl Scout troop either, as a new addition causes trouble, and the girls begin to turn against each other—sparking way more than just preteen angst. From a dangerous close encounter with a mythical red wolf, to a jovial, geriatric group of Russian expats who brew their own mind-bending vodka, Merry Wrath worries that if she doesn’t find the killer soon, this case may be her last. Merry Wrath Mysteries: Merit Badge Murder – book #1 Mint Cookie Murder – book #2 Scout Camp Mystery – short story in the "Killer Beach Reads" collection Marshmallow S'More Murder – book #3 Movie Night Murder – book #4 Mud Run Murder – book #5 Fishing Badge Murder – short story in the "Pushing Up Daisies" collection Motto for Murder – book #6 Map Skills Murder – book #7 Mean Girl Murder – book #8 Marriage Vow Murder – book #9 Mystery Night Murder – book #10 Meerkats and Murder– book #11 What critics are saying about Leslie Langtry's books: "I laughed so hard I cried on multiple occasions while reading MARSHMALLOW S'MORE MURDER! Girl Scouts, the CIA, and the Yakuza... what could possibly go wrong?" ~ Fresh Fiction "Darkly funny and wildly over the top, this mystery answers the burning question, 'Do assassin skills and Girl Scout merit badges mix…" ~ RT BOOKreviews "Mixing a deadly sense of humor and plenty of sexy sizzle, Leslie Langtry creates a brilliantly original, laughter-rich mix of contemporary romance and suspense." ~ Chicago Tribune "Langtry gets the fun started from page one with a myriad of clever details." ~ Publisher's Weekly

One Ball Each

Author: Rob Dames

Publisher: Xlibris Corporation


Category: Fiction

Page: 200

View: 226

ONE BALL EACH is a darkly, comic novel inside the television sitcom business. At forty Mike Lynch is considered over-the-hill in comedy circles. To add to his woes, his trophy wife is cheating on him with someone who can help her career more. Mike has fallen into a black pit called Hollywood and his fight to escape takes us behind the scenes on a network sitcom, into the executive offices of studios and networks where we meet the bizarre and demented people who make the decisions that become television series. This story is dark and nasty and pretty damned close to the truth.

Big Slick

High Stakes and Dirty Laundry

Author: Eric Luper

Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux (BYR)


Category: Young Adult Fiction

Page: 240

View: 983

All in all, sixteen-year-old Andrew Lang has been dealt a pretty good hand in life. Sure, he has to spend his afternoons slaving away in the hellhole that is his dad's dry-cleaning business, but even that's not so bad with Jasmine, the seriously hot Goth-chick senior, working right beside him. So what if she's got a boyfriend? Plus, Andrew's got an ace up his sleeve – he's good at poker. Very good. Unfortunately, all it takes is one bad beat at Shushie's illegal poker club to turn Andrew's bankroll from huge to nonexistent. And Andrew's pretty sure that sooner or later his dad's going to notice that $600 he "borrowed" from the register. Andrew thinks he may know how to get the money back, but it's a little bit crazy, and a little bit dangerous . . . In this breakneck-paced novel about gambling and growing up, the stakes are high, and Andrew must ask himself: What does going all in really mean?

I Am Life

Author: Shraddha Soni

Publisher: Random House India


Category: Fiction

Page: 192

View: 414

‘You are from India—the land of three hundred and thirty million Gods, and you say you don’t believe in even one of them? I think it’s time to go home, Sid.’ Andrea’s words have been echoing in my head since last night when she poured another round of scotch. I entered God in the Google search bar and of all the places, it directed me to India—a place where I had buried my childhood dream eleven years ago, and moved to New York. I waived God away when I got to New York, and, to be honest, I didn’t need Him either. Until now... Life’s always been a bitch but this time it’s gone too far. I want my money and my company back, and I will find God one way or the other to get my answers. I’ve boarded the flight. Hop on...and yes...carry some scotch along. See you on the other side. Cheers, Sid—Siddharth Khanna

The Book of Clown Baby

Prose Poems ; Figures from the Big Time Circus Book : Prose Poems

Author: Gerry LaFemina



Category: Poetry

Page: 48

View: 896

Poetry. This is a double collection of playful and surprisingly moving poems rooted in a theme of circus life. THE BOOK OF CLOWN BABY explores the fantasy existence of Gerry LaFemina's character, Clown Baby. Occupied by visions of trick horses, parades and high-wire acts, Clown Baby relates the fantastic to the common reality where he finds himself. Similarly, in the Figures, LaFemina, with his profound gift for image, captures the wonder of the big top, as imagined and recreated in children's play. Gerry LaFemina's poetry collection THE PARAKEETS OF BROOKLYN received the 2003 Bordighera Prize in Poetry and was published in a bi-lingual edition of English and Italian. Among his honors are prizes from the Academy of American Poets and fellowships from the Irving Gilmore Emerging Artist Foundation and the Michigan Council for Arts and Cultural Affairs. The former editor of the literary journal Controlled Burn, LaFemina now co-edits with poet Dennis Hinrichsen Review Revue, a journal of reviews, interviews and prosody essays. Currently he directs the Frostburg Center for Creative Writing at Frostburg State University where he is an Assistant Professor of English.

The PC Affair

A Comic Mystery of Murder, Mayhem, and Data Processing

Author: Clyde James Aragón



Category: California

Page: 147

View: 374