Did you know that it is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament? Were you aware that it is perfectly legal to murder a Scotsman within the wall of the ancient city of York, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow? Outrageous and hilarious rules and regulations pack the pages of More Than My Job's Worth along with incredible stories of officialdom gone mad. How about the story of a couple in Surrey who cleared an eyesore of weeds, litter, wrecked shopping trolleys and bits of an old car from the area outside their front fence, dug the ground over and put in some plants to make it all look nice for passers-by? The local council told them that unless they paid for a permit, they had to put everything back exactly as it was! You couldn't make it up, as they say, but you don't need to because it's all true! By the way, you need the permission of the Secretary of State if you want to enter the hull of the Titanic, and in Connecticut, USA a pickle cannot be classed as a pickle unless it can bounce!
What dilemmas do Christians face as they balance the twin demands of the secular and spiritual world? This question is answered by the seven people who appear in this book. They tell of significant professional and spiritual milestones, of the "grey" areas which we all encounter from time to time and tell of the key part played by God in their decision-making.
Malcolm Philips was a reluctant bureaucrat. When it was suggested that he give up selling ice-cream and go to work for the council, he protested that it would be full of jobsworths, skivers and crawlers. Truth to tell, however, he quickly fitted in among what his boss described as all the other ‘sods and buggers’ at County Hall. The 1960s and 1970s were the halcyon days of local government when rules and regulations multiplied at the expense of common sense and no-one was entirely sure what the person in the next office actually did … or even what purpose their own job served. In these Confessions, Malcolm tells all: his surreptitious visits to the girls in the typing pool, the ingenious fiddles, the arrival of flower power in the computer room, the goings-on in the roof-space after the Christmas party, and the mysterious expenses, such as ‘repairs to elephant’. Some of the ‘sods and buggers’ you’ll meet in this book include Archie, a master of foul language and never without a Player’s No. 6; Vince, who had the power to disrupt machinery just by looking at it, and the Lord of the Stationery Cupboard who refused to issue a new pencil unless the old one had been worn down to a stub. As for Malcolm, he thrived, quickly progressing from his early faux pas in commandeering a chair with arms (only for staff on a higher grade) to being allowed to use the rubber stamp with the chief’s signature on it. What more could a young man desire?
If I had the imagination I could have written a story about the destruction of our world. On Tuesday the 8th of November 2016 Donald Trump began the 71 day countdown to his inauguration as the most powerful man in the world. I laughed, and suddenly the words just flowed in a torrent of satire, irony, humour and downright rant as I plotted my survival strategy. It is both a diary of practicalities for my survival and a diary of current affairs championed by our media and leaders alike as they continue to perfect the defense strategy supposedly adopted by ostriches. The book is a blend of fact and fiction, of heartfelt hopes and soul crushing realities. Neville is real, an exaggerated caricature but none the less a long suffering friend and neighbour who even dared to oppose Brexit and I owe him an immense debt of gratitude.
Whether you are traveling to Great Britain or just want to understand British popular culture, this unique dictionary will answer your questions. British English from A to Zed contains more than 5,500 British terms and their American equivalents, each with a short explanation of the term’s history and an example of its use. The appendixes provide valuable supplemental material with differences between British and American pronunciation, grammar, and spelling as well as terms grouped in specific areas such as currency, weight, and numbers. This dictionary will help you unravel the meanings of: ? Berk (idiot) ? Bevvied up (drunk) ? Crisps (potato chips) ? Erk (rookie) ? To judder (to shake) ? Noughts and crosses (tic-tac-toe) ? And more! George Bernard Shaw famously said that the British and Americans were “two peoples separated by a common language.” This book bridges that gap.
A fascinating, thematic exploration of clichés from as the actress said to the bishop to zero hour, explaining what they are and where they’ve come from. Julia Cresswell has taken her best-selling dictionary of clichés (‘Sumptuous... A mine of information.’ Guardian) back to the drawing board and has created a book, packed with famous (and infamous) quotations and memorable information, that will change the way you see English.
This book is about an unusual journey: a unique journey through everyday surroundings. Rob Walters decided to become a shoeshine boy. He stowed his shoeshine kit, a tent, and a few items of clothing in a trailer, connected the trailer to his push bike and set off from Oxford to visit the old shoe-making cities of middle England. Along the way he polished many shoes, met lots of interesting people, pedalled many miles, and gained a fascinating insight into his own country from a rather unique perspective.Rejected by some, welcomed by many, he polished shoes in shopping centres, solicitor's offices, a kite festival, railway stations, campsites, street corners, and a bewildering selection of pubs. He polished the shoes of dossers, company directors, criminals, Morris dancers, publicans, bikers, policemen, schoolboys, reporters, a bowling green groundsman, an Icelander, and a Latvian – to name just a few. He slept in fields, in woods, and on the edge of golf courses. He was ejected from the Norfolk Show and welcomed into the offices of lawyers and fruit importers.During his journey he met members of the Household Cavalry, topless protestors, a homeless joss stick seller, a man who stole baths in hotels, a submariner, a beaten housewife, a disenchanted solicitor, a rubber recycler, a toyshop owner, and two ghost guides – amongst others. All of them had a story to tell: some sad, some amusing. It is their tales and Rob's own incisive observations that are related in this unusual book. Reading it will transport you to Northampton, the centre of the English shoe making tradition; then through the Fens to East Anglia; back across the country to the Midlands; down along the River Severn to Gloucester; and then over the Cotswolds to Oxford. Progress is at a comfortable cycling pace along the country roads and through the sleepy villages, yet interrupted regularly by diversions into the vibrancy of the cities.