One Man's Hilarious Exchanges with Internet Spammers
Author: Bob Servant
"Genius! Highly entertaining and brilliantly deranged."—Maxim Spam is the plague of the electronic age, comprising 90% of all e-mails and illegally netting millions of dollars each year. Into this frustrating wave of directed marketing steps the brave figure of Bob Servant, a former window cleaner and cheeseburger magnate with a love of wine, women, and song—as well as a devious sense of fair play. In collusion with his "editor" Neil Forsyth, Bob gives spammers a taste of their own medicine. This wickedly funny and original book features the anarchic exchanges between Bob and the hapless spam merchants who unwittingly flood his inbox. As they offer him African fortunes, Russian brides, and get-rich-quick scams, he turns the tables by offering them some outlandish schemes of his own. Upping the ante with the skill of a seasoned pro, Bob demands legal asylum, shoulders to cry on, and gold lions that speak—and almost gets his way. The result is page after page of wacky and hilarious e-mail exchanges—and a cathartic release for anyone whose inbox has been deluged with unwanted e-mail. 22 b/w photographs.
In Delete This At Your Peril, Neil Forsyth introduced the fictional character Bob Servant to the UK and North America and his creation quickly gained a critically-led cult following. Trainspotting author Irvine Welsh picked Delete This At Your Peril for Esquire's Funniest Books Ever Written and both the book and the Bob Servant character are being developed for television and radio by the BBC. Sixty-three years old and resolutely single, Servant spends his days with a small number of trusted associates pursuing unlikely business opportunities, giving stern views on current affairs and 'chasing skirt'. His outlook on life is one of unbridled ambition and self-belief as he constantly battles the local 'boo boys' for the respect that he undoubtedly deserves. Bob Servant: Hero of Dundee charts the hilarious, whimsical and action-packed life-story of Bob Servant, unveiling with touching bravery, a fearless romp through a life full of incident, from his rise from a childhood of abject poverty, through a career in the merchant navy, his establishment of the largest window-cleaning round in Western Europe and his part in Dundee's infamous Cheeseburger Wars of the early 1990s, to his current standing as an 'unemployed gigolo' in Broughty Ferry.
Bob Servant is troubled. The economy is collapsing, his health is failing and around his hometown of Broughty Ferry, Bob is struggling to get the respect he deserves. Fortunately his email junk folder is bursting with offers of assistance from around the world. In these genuine emails, Bob Servant looks to the Internet's worst con merchants and charlatans for answers to his many woes.
Bestselling Authors Talk About Writing Crime Fiction
Author: Len Wanner
Publisher: Blasted Heath Ltd
Category: Literary Criticism
If you're interested in learning about how to write, how to be a writer, or about the writing life in general, what greater resource and pleasure than frank, in-depth interviews with best-selling authors? In The Crime Interviews Volume One, Len Wanner interviews: Ian Rankin• Stuart MacBride• Karen Campbell• Neil Forsyth• Chris Brookmyre• Paul Johnston• Alice Thompson• Allan Guthrie• Louise Welsh So much more than a collection of writing tips, The Crime Interviews Volume One is brimming with pithy, witty and sometimes just plain weird revelations. It provides a unique and unforgettable insight into how authors think... and how they write. See also The Crime Interviews Volume Two and Volume Three. [Two Ravens Press published a previous edition of this book in 2011 under the title Dead Sharp: Scottish Crime Writers On Country And Craft] What they're saying.... This is fascinating reading and a real treat. A rare insight into the minds of a diverse group of crime writers, writing in one genre, living in proximity, but all with utterly different, individual voices."•-Peter James, author of Dead Like You "Len Wanner is the perfect interrogator, subtle, accommodating and incisive, and these interviews elicit many layers of deep, dark and vital intelligence."•-John Banville, author of The Sea•
For the very first time, renowned international photographer and bestselling author Michael Freeman reveals all the insider secrets that professionals keep for themselves alone. Everyone from enthusiastic amateurs to seasoned experts will learn plenty of the tried-and-true, field-tested techniques Freeman has discovered through years of experience. He helps you think and shoot like an expert, providing advice on everything from shooting in poor weather conditions to simulating complex lighting setups, from enhancing depth of field to fixing damaged files and organizing your photos effectively. His easily digestible nuggets of information explain how to make the most of your digital camera…even if you have limited resources. And that’s important, because to get a great photo, you must fully exploit your camera’s capabilities—and this guide shows you how.
Microsoft Excel continues to grow in power, sophistication, and capability, but one thing that has changed very little since the early '90s is its user interface. The once-simple toolbar has been packed with so many features over the years that few users know where to find them all. Microsoft has addressed this problem in Excel 2007 by radically redesigning the user interface with a tabbed toolbar that makes every feature easy to locate and use. Unfortunately, Microsoft's documentation is as scant as ever, so even if users can find advanced features, they probably won't know what to do with them. Excel 2007: The Missing Manual covers the entire gamut of how to build spreadsheets, add and format information, print reports, create charts and graphics, and use basic formulas and functions. Like its siblings in the Missing Manual series, this book crackles with a fine sense of humor and refreshing objectivity about its subject, guiding readers through the new Excel with clear explanations, step-by-step instructions, lots of illustrations, and friendly, time-saving advice. It's a perfect primer for small businesses with no techie to turn to, as well as those who want to organize household and office information.
Ben is struggling to find his way in postmodern society; lost in a blizzard of information, his very identity is fading. As he struggles to find his way THE PLAGIARIST - a mysterious, soluble character, half-real, half-imaginary, ever constant but never the same - acts as a guide who shows Ben to the edge of the precipice. But can he be trusted? This curious anti-novel may have all the answers...A riot of experimentation, THE PLAGIARIST is an example of contemporary theory in practice, melding Bloom's theories on influence to a series of unreliable or schizophrenic narrators against a backdrop created by Frederic Jameson. With a narrative fabricated from the effluvia of the now, whoch continues the work started by Burroughs and developed by contemporaries like Kenji Siratori, this book demonstrates how postmodern society can cause the individual to lose themselves and the plot.
Simplifying the seemingly difficult and expensive art of underwater photography, this accessible investigation outlines the four elements of success: focus, exposure, composition, and subject. Beginning with an overview of necessary diving skills, this survey reviews these four categories in detail, depicting how to obtain superior results even without the latest and greatest equipment. Maintenance and first-aid tactics are presented as well, reducing the chance of disappointing malfunctions during a dive. Also covered is the importance of developing a photography plan beforehand—both for the safety of the divers and the protection of the underwater environment. Concluding with post-shoot techniques for choosing the best frames, cropping photos for printing, and the top methods of presentation, this examination demonstrates how underwater images can be used to share the world of diving while promoting important conservation efforts.
The Evolution of C++ explores the underlying concepts of this exceedingly popular language, explaining why C++ looks and behaves the way it does.Unlike most programming languages that were designed by an identifiable individual or research group, C++ developed in response to open debate among the community of users of the language. Bringing together the main articles that presented the design alternatives in that debate, The Evolution of C++ explores the underlying concepts of this exceedingly popular language, explaining why C++ looks and behaves the way it does.From a commercial standpoint, C++ combines the best of two worlds: it is object oriented and it is a version of C, the single most popular programming language for microcomputers. Originally developed by Bjarne Stroustrup and others at AT&T Bell Labs during the mid 1980s, C++ evolved further in response to the real and perceived needs of its users.Part I chronicles the early days of C++, beginning with what, from the original Santa Fe workshop, looked like a great new object-oriented language with a straightforward future. The next four parts are organized around major debates that developed later about such added features as multiple inheritance, exception handling, runtime typing, and distributed computing. In his postscript, Waldo notes that in the process of evolving through "the marketplace of ideas," a clearly articulated, generally accepted design center for the language has been lost. Although C++ has adapted to the changing environment of the increasing number of users, there is at present no common agreement about what it should or should not do in the future.