WHAT . . . A RIOT! Life doesn't get more hilarious than when Chelsea Handler takes aim with her irreverent wit. Who else would send all-staff emails to smoke out the dumbest people on her show? Now, in this new collection of original essays, the #1 bestselling author of Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea delivers one laugh-out-loud moment after another as she sets her sights on the ridiculous side of childhood, adulthood, and daughterhood. Family moments are fair game, whether it's writing a report on Reaganomics to earn a Cabbage Patch doll, or teaching her father social graces by ordering him to stay indoors. It's open season on her love life, from playing a prank on her boyfriend (using a ravioli, a fake autopsy, and the Santa Monica pier) to adopting a dog so she can snuggle with someone who doesn't talk. And everyone better duck for cover when her beach vacation turns into matchmaking gone wild. Outrageously funny and deliciously wicked, CHELSEA CHELSEA BANG BANG is good good good good! CHELSEA HANDLER ON... Being unpopular: "My parents couldn't have been more unreasonable when it came to fads or clothes that weren't purchased at a pharmacy." Living with her boyfriend: "He's similar to a large toddler, the only difference being he doesn't cry when he wakes up." Appreciating her brother: "He's a certified public accountant, and I have a real life." Arm-wrestling a maid of honor: "It wasn't her strength that intimidated me. It was the starry way her eyes focused on me, like Mike Tyson getting ready to feed."
"My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate."--Chelsea Handler, from Chapter 10 of Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang It's no lie: Chelsea Handler loves to smoke out "dumbassness," the condition people suffer from that allows them to fall prey to her brand of complete and utter nonsense. Friends, family, co-workers--they've all been tricked by Chelsea into believing stories of total foolishness and into behaving like total fools. Luckily, they've lived to tell the tales and, for the very first time, write about them.
The life and times of Chelsea Handler, in one convenient little book.
Author: Jeff Mudd
Publisher: Hyperink Inc
Category: Biography & Autobiography
ABOUT THE BOOK She jokes. She writes. She acts. She hosts. She produces. Is she a budding tycoon? A whirling typhoon? Well, yes and yes. Chelsea Handler is at once a sexy, sharp-tongued comic, a highly-rated television host, a best-selling author, and, of late, a sitcom actress playing her own sister. Despite her self-deprecating humor and surgical skewering of all-things-celebrity, she has become a bonafide superstar in her own right. On the tube, the shelves, the stage, and the tabloids, the blonde beauty is seemingly everywhere. Compared to Handler, Ryan Seacrest is a couch potato. MEET THE AUTHOR Jeff Mudd has been writing since the age of 10, taking second place in a statewide short-story contest with his tale of a down-on-his-luck cowboy named The Loan Ranger and his trusty horse, Tin Foil. A journalism graduate and lifelong sports enthusiast, he is married with three children. EXCERPT FROM THE BOOK Voila, The Chelsea Handler Show was born. The variety format allowed the versatile comic to juggle stand-up bits, offbeat sketches and taped shorts on a weekly basis. But the production was costly, and after two years the show evolved into the current day “Chelsea Lately.” The latter’s daily format allows Handler, along with three comedic panelists and a celebrity guest cameo, to chew on and spit out whatever entertainment topic or dansel du jour that may flash before her. Handler shares the stage and spreads the jokes, but make no mistake - she is definitely the queen of the roost. "I never really saw that coming," she said in Marie Claire. "I didn't become a comedian to work this hard. But Ted was saying, 'You need your own show. You have such a strong point of view.' But the only way I was going to be on E! was if I could make fun of E! and everyone on those shows. I thought, That would be a great job." Buy a copy to keep reading!
A celebration of the most groundbreaking women in comedy who used humor to shake up the status quo and change perceptions of gender and comedy forever. Step aside, Seinfeld. It's time for the brave, hilarious women of comedy to finally get the recognition they deserve. The people who say women aren't funny are actually saying something else: that humor in the hands of women is radical and scary. Nevertheless, women have persisted for generations now, deploying their wit in game-changing ways. The League of Extraordinarily Funny Women is a beautifully illustrated book that showcases fifty women -- past and present -- who use humor to deliver cutting social commentary, tangle with sensitive subjects, challenge traditional ideas about femininity, and, above all, do anything but sit still and stay quiet when laughs are on the line. The result is a sisterhood of empowering and often under-recognized figures who have gone on to become standups, writers, and actresses, including Mae West, Lucille Ball, Gilda Radner, Tina Fey, Amy Sedaris, Wanda Sykes, Ellen DeGeneres, Mindy Kaling, Jessica Williams, and many more.
Theyre back and theyre sharing! Now the second verbal dance with the stars features over 1250 of the best sounding quotes of all time. These are chosen with the ear in mind and designed to bridge the wide gap between yawn and smile or knowing nod. So talk on!