368 Terrible Dad Jokes

That Are So Bad, They're Actually Hilarious

Author: Bryce Atkins

Publisher: Idyll Publishing

ISBN:

Category: Humor

Page: 52

View: 982

Are you lacking in the joke department? Do you want to level up your comedy game? Or maybe you just want to read some cringey jokes? 'Dad Jokes' contains hundreds of hilariously punny jokes. From the casual jokester to the eager comedian, this book caters to all. If you love entertaining, or just love to fill the room with laughter, there are heaps of funny gags waiting for you inside. As terrible as they may be, they serve as great ice breakers, help pass the time at work, or even form the foundations of a budding comedian. Now let's get straight to it and enjoy some appallingly hysterical dad jokes!

Really Bad Dad Jokes

More Than 400 Unbearable Groan-Inducing Wisecracks Sure to Make You the Funniest Father With a Quip

Author: Joe Kerz

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN:

Category: Humor

Page: 144

View: 871

Bring out the groans with Really Bad Dad Jokes! Do you enjoy making puns about the most random things you can think of? Do you enjoy inducing embarrassment and eye-rolling from your family? Do you often crack yourself up with your own jokes? Then Really Bad Dad Jokes is for you! In this follow-up to Dad Jokes, you’ll find a multitude of the ultimate dad jokes, such as: If prisoners could take their own mug shots, would they be called cellfies? Dogs can’t operate MRI machines. . . but catscan! What did one plate say to the other? “Lunch is on me!” What does a martial arts expert drink? Kara-tea And many, many more! With over 400 unbearably funny puns, quips, and one-liners, Really Bad Dad Jokes is your secret to mastering one of the most groanworthy arts of being a dad.

Writers, Readers, and Reputations

Literary Life in Britain 1870-1918

Author: Philip Waller

Publisher: Oxford University Press

ISBN:

Category: History

Page: 1181

View: 850

Charles Dickens died in 1870, the same year in which universal elementary education was introduced. During the following generation a mass reading public emerged, and the term "best-seller" was coined. In new and cheap editions Dickens's stories sold hugely, but these were progressively outstripped in quantity by the likes of Hall Caine and Marie Corelli, Charles Garvice and Nat Gould. Who has now heard of these writers? Yet Hall Caine, for one, boasted of having made more money from his pen than any previous author. This book presents a panoramic view of literary life in Britain over half a century from 1870 to 1914, teasing out authors' relations with the reading public and tracing how reputations were made and unmade. It surveys readers' habits, the book trade, popular literary magazines and the role of reviewers, and examines the construction of a classical canon by critics concerned about the supposed corruption of popular taste. Certain writers were elevated as national heroes, yet Britain drew its writers from abroad as well as from home. Authors became stars and celebrities, and a literary tourism grew around their haunts. They advertised products from cigarettes to toothpaste; they were fashion-conscious and promoted themselves via profiles, interviews, and carefully posed photographs; they went on lecture tours to America; and their names were pushed by a new professional breed: the literary agent. Some angled for knighthoods, even peerages, and cut a figure in high society and London clubland. The debated public issues of the day and campaigned on all manner of things from questions of faith and women's rights to censorship and conscription. During the Great War they penned propaganda. Meanwhile the cinema was developing to challenge the supremacy of the written word over the imagination. Authors took to that too, as an opportunity for new adventure. Writers, Readers, and Reputations is richly entertaining and informative, amounting to a collective biography of a generation of writers and their world.

In the Kingdom of Ice

The Grand and Terrible Polar Voyage of the USS Jeannette

Author: Hampton Sides

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN:

Category: History

Page: 480

View: 454

The age of exploration was drawing to a close, yet the mystery of the North Pole remained. Contemporaries described the pole as the ‘unattainable object of our dreams’, and the urge to fill in this last great blank space on the map grew irresistible.In 1879 the USS Jeannette set sail from San Francisco to cheering crowds and amid a frenzy of publicity. The ship and its crew, captained by the heroic George De Long, were destined for the uncharted waters of the Arctic. But it wasn’t long before the Jeannette was trapped in crushing pack ice. Amid the rush of water and the shrieks of breaking wooden boards, the crew found themselves marooned a thousand miles north of Siberia with only the barest supplies, facing a seemingly impossible trek across endless ice. Battling everything from snow blindness and polar bears to ferocious storms and frosty labyrinths, the expedition fought madness and starvation as they desperately strove for survival.

Lancelot Andrewes: Selected Sermons and Lectures

Author: Peter McCullough

Publisher: OUP Oxford

ISBN:

Category: Literary Collections

Page: 552

View: 169

This is the first annotated critical edition of works of Lancelot Andrewes (1555-1626), a writer recognized by literary critics, historians, and theologians as one of the most important figures in Elizabethan and Jacobean England. Peter McCullough, a leading expert on religious writing in the early modern period, presents fourteen complete sermons and lectures preached by Andrewes across the whole range of his adult career, from Cambridge in the 1580s to the court of James I and VI in the 1620s. Through a radical reassessment of Andrewes's life, influence, and surviving texts, the editor presents Andrewes as his contemporaries saw, heard, and read him, and as scholars are increasingly recognizing him: one of the most subtle, yet radical critics of mainstream Elizabethan Protestantism, and a literary artist of the highest order. The centuries-old influence of William Laud's authorized edition of Andrewes (1629) is here complicated and contextualized by the full use for the first time of the whole range of Andrewes's works printed before and after his lifetime, as well as manuscript sources. The edition also showcases the aesthetic brilliance of Andrewes's remarkable prose, and suggests new ways for scholars to carry forward the modern literary appreciation of Andrewes famously begun by T. S. Eliot. A full introductory essay sets study of Andrewes on a new footing by placing his works in the context of his life and career, surveying the history of responses to his writings, and summarizing the history of the transmission of his texts. The texts here are edited to high modern critical standards. The exhaustive commentary sets each selection in its historical context, documents Andrewes's myriad sources, glosses important and unfamiliar words and allusions, and translates his frequent quotations from the ancient Biblical languages.

Life

Author: John Ames Mitchell

Publisher:

ISBN:

Category: American wit and humor

Page:

View: 404

Something So Perfect

Author: Natasha Madison

Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform

ISBN:

Category: Hockey players

Page: 216

View: 633

Matthew Drafted first round pick when I was seventeen, playing first line at eighteen, branded NHL's bad boy at nineteen. At twenty-three I was cut from the team and living back home with my parents. A knock on the door brought an opportunity I couldn't turn down. All I had to do was prove I learned from my mistakes, so no way would I fall for a chick with a pouty mouth even if I wanted to spend all day devouring it. Karrie When my father gave me a job, I had no idea it would be to babysit some washed up NHL player. He wanted me to be his chaperone, his overpaid babysitter. I thought it was a joke. Then I met him, Matthew Grant. I wasn't prepared for this particular bad boy. He's not only hot but he's arrogant and kinda sweet in a 'you make me crazy' kind of way. Basically now that he's finished screwing up his life, he's decided to turn mine upside down. She's the first thing I've ever wanted more than hockey. He's the guy I know I should stay away from. But what if this thing that started out so wrong turns into something so perfect?

High Dive

Author: Jonathan Lee

Publisher: Random House

ISBN:

Category: Fiction

Page: 384

View: 217

‘A meticulous and gripping reimagination of the Brighton bomb’ Observer, Best Novels of 2015 In September 1984, a man calling himself Roy Walsh checked into The Grand Hotel in Brighton and planted a bomb in room 629. The device was primed to explode in twenty-four days, six hours and six minutes, when intelligence had confirmed that Margaret Thatcher and her whole cabinet would be staying in the hotel. Moving between the luxurious hospitality of a British tourist town and the troubled city of Belfast, and told from the perspectives of a young IRA explosives expert, the deputy hotel manager and his teenage daughter, High Dive is a taut and tender retelling of one of the most ambitious assassination attempts against the British establishment.

Romeo and Juliet

Author: William Shakespeare

Publisher: Penguin UK

ISBN:

Category: Drama

Page: 242

View: 487

The greatest love story in English, William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet is a play of star-crossed lovers who take a valiant stand against social convention, with tragic consequences. This Penguin Shakespeare edition is edited with notes by T.J.B. Spencer, and an introduction by Adrian Poole. 'What's in a name? That which we call a rose, By any other name would smell as sweet' The city of Verona, torn apart by the violent feud between the families of Montague and Capulet, is a powder keg waiting to explode; the Prince of Verona, seeking to restore order, has declared any breach of the peace punishable by death. But for the young Montague Romeo, and his lover, the Capulet Juliet, the enmity of their families is immaterial. Meeting in secret, the two lovers gradually spiral towards disaster as their respective families edge closer towards open warfare. A play that has inspired films as diverse as Leonard Bernstein's West Side Story and Baz Luhrmann's Romeo+Juliet, Romeo and Juliet is a dazzling combination of passion and hatred, bawdy comedy and high tragedy. This book contains a general introduction to Shakespeare's life and Elizabethan theatre, a separate introduction to Romeo and Juliet, a chronology, suggestions for further reading, an essay discussing performance options on both stage and screen, and a commentary. William Shakespeare (1564-1616) was born to John Shakespeare and Mary Arden some time in late April 1564 in Stratford-upon-Avon. He wrote some of the most exceptional works of drama ever produced, including Romeo and Juliet (1595), Henry V (1599), Hamlet (1601), Othello (1604), King Lear (1606) and Macbeth (1606), as well as a collection of 154 sonnets, which number among the most profound and influential love-poetry in English. If you enjoyed Romeo and Juliet, you might like A Midsummer Night's Dream, also available in Penguin Shakespeare. 'Romeo was your first "rebel without a cause" ' Baz Luhrmann, director of Romeo+Juliet