The Teenager Who Came to Tea

Author: Emlyn Rees,Josie Lloyd

Publisher: Constable

ISBN: 9781472121769

Category: English wit and humor

Page: 32

View: 3943

Another hilarious parody of a much-loved children's book from the bestselling authors of We're Going on a Bar Hunt and The Very Hungover Caterpillar.

The Teenager Who Came to Tea

Author: Emlyn Rees,Josie Lloyd

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 1472121775

Category: Fiction

Page: 32

View: 9228

But the teenager didn't take just one Pringle. He took a selfie of himself pouring a whole tube of them into his mouth, before sending it to his best mate, along with the letters LOL! The bestselling authors of We're Going on a Bar Hunt and The Very Hungover Caterpillar bring you another hilarious parody of a much-loved children's book, this time turning the spotlight not only on modern teens, but firmly on their parents too. When the doorbell rings, just as Sophie and her Dad are sitting down for their tea, they're half-expecting a visit from a tiger, but what slouches in through their doorway is even more curious than that... a teenager. A perfect read for anyone who remembers the original, or has ever been a teenager or is the parent of a teenager today.

The Tiger Who Came to Tea (Read aloud by Geraldine McEwan)

Author: Judith Kerr

Publisher: HarperCollins UK

ISBN: 0007386273

Category: Juvenile Fiction

Page: 32

View: 969

This is a read-along edition with audio synced to the text, performed by Geraldine McEwan. This classic story of Sophie and her extraordinary tea-time guest has been loved by millions of children since it was first published over 30 years ago.

Shabby

The Jolly Good British Guide to Stress-free Living

Author: Emlyn Rees,Josie Lloyd

Publisher: Constable

ISBN: 1472127285

Category: Humor

Page: 64

View: 2215

From the creators of the bestselling parodies We're Going on a Bar Hunt, The Very Hungover Caterpillar and The Teenager Who Came to Tea. Shabby - because there is no word for Hygge in English. We all know Shabby when we see it. It's that welcoming pair of pants drying on the radiator. That half-mouldy, but perfectly gin-and-tonic-worthy lemon on display in the fruit bowl. That tin of plum tomatoes in the cupboard with a sell-by date of 1983. It's never dusting higher than your tallest friend's line of sight. But Shabby is more than just an attitude; it's a quintessentially British way of life, tried and tested for generations, and founded on the Four Central Pillars of Shabbism, Messiness, Dilapidation, Clutter and Bodged Works. Being Shabby is about spending less time fussing and clearing up and getting stressed out about stuff that doesn't really matter anyway. And more time hanging out with your family and friends. It's a celebration of a life that is neither tidy nor empty, but rather one that is splendidly cluttered and full. Shabby - because life's just too bloody short to waste time striving for perfection, or caring too much about what other people think about you and yours. Instead of worrying about what could be, it's time to start celebrating what actually is. Praise for The Very Hungover Caterpillar 'Hilarious and painfully accurate, The Very Hungover Caterpillar is liable to be one of those parodies that becomes more famous than the original' Independent Praise for We're Going on a Bar Hunt '. . . a parody that will draw a smile from any parent' Guardian Praise for The Teenager Who Came to Tea 'A hilarious parody of a much-loved children's book and a perfect read for anyone who remembers the original, or has ever been a teenager or is the parent / grandparent of a teenager today' gransnet.com

'Twas the Fight Before Christmas

A Parody

Author: Josie Lloyd,Emlyn Rees

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 1472125126

Category: Humor

Page: 32

View: 2029

From the creators of the bestselling parodies We're Going on a Bar Hunt, The Very Hungover Caterpillar and The Teenager Who Came to Tea. 'Tis the season to be jolly. But as any modern family knows, 'tis also the season to be micro-managed by your in-laws, guzzle too many sherries, fight over the TV remote, and panic about your internet shopping not arriving on time. But if you think that's bad, just wait until you meet the Jones family. Instead of this being their best Christmas ever, this might just be their last - especially if they don't all pull together to help their surprise guest in his hour of need. An uproariously funny update of the traditional Christmas Eve classic - that all the family can enjoy. Praise for The Very Hungover Caterpillar 'Hilarious and painfully accurate, The Very Hungover Caterpillar is liable to be one of those parodies that becomes more famous than the original' Independent Praise for We're Going on a Bar Hunt '. . . a parody that will draw a smile from any parent' Guardian Praise for The Teenager Who Came to Tea 'A hilarious parody of a much-loved children's book and a perfect read for anyone who remembers the original, or has ever been a teenager or is the parent / grandparent of a teenager today' gransnet.com

We're Going On A Bar Hunt

A Parody

Author: Emlyn Rees,Josie Lloyd

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 1472109848

Category: Humor

Page: 48

View: 4943

We're going on a bar hunt. We're going to find a cool one. The babysitter's booked. We're not old! Bestselling authors Emlyn Rees and Josie Lloyd also happen to be parents, so they understand the complications of organising a rare night out. In this parody of the famous children's book, two parents set off for a night on the tiles, and encounter a series of watering holes and bars before an alarming encounter with a 'bear' sends them running home to their children. Gillian Johnson is the author and illustrator of the successful Monster Hospital and Thora series for children. Her illustrations bring this story to life, gently parodying the original but adding an anarchic edge as the evening progresses. We're not going on a bar hunt again!

The Diet for Teenagers Only

Author: Barbara Schroeder,Carrie Wiatt

Publisher: Harper Collins

ISBN: 0060793619

Category: Health & Fitness

Page: 256

View: 8454

Here's the deal. You are in the biggest, most important growth spurt of your life. This is the most critical time for you to learn to eat right and treat your body with the respect –– and the nutrition –– it deserves. ––from The Diet for Teenagers Only Teenage girls face a relentless assault on their self–esteem: television, the Internet, and magazines all barrage young women with images of perfection –– and that perfection is closely linked with being thin. Sadly, research shows that only 14 percent of teenage girls are happy with their body shape and size. More than half of them think they should lose weight. And most shocking of all, obesity among teenagers has tripled in the last decade alone. Young people are victims not only of poor self–esteem and eating disorders, but also of larger health issues. In The Diet for Teenagers Only , Carrie Wiatt and Barbara Schroeder give teenagers the dietary weapons they need to fight back and make smart, independent decisions about nutrition. Written in a conversational, lighthearted voice, but filled with practical tips and must–have information, The Diet for Teenagers Only is a breakthrough diet plan specifically tailored to fit teenage needs and lifestyles. Among the essential ingredients of this diet you'll find: color cutouts of favorite foods that clarify what portion sizes should look like; recommended 7–day meal plans for different calorie needs –– and create–your–own–menu options; easy–to–follow recipes and grocery shopping tips that inspire teenagers to take nutrition into their own hands; a complete illustrated exercise program to complement weight–loss efforts, boost energy, and strengthen young bodies; and a personal food diary for charting daily progress. For teenagers who struggle with food and their weight, or for those who simply want a head start on designing a smart and satisfying food lifestyle, no other diet book will do. The Diet for Teenagers Only serves up fun, safe, and inspirational ways for teenagers to lose weight and be healthy, while never losing sight of the larger picture: While striving to improve your body can be a very healthy goal, learning to love your body is a far more important achievement –– and one that will last a lifetime!

The Very Hungover Caterpillar

A Parody

Author: Emlyn Rees,John Lloyd

Publisher: Constable Crime

ISBN: 9781472117106

Category: Humor

Page: 32

View: 5286

From the bestselling authors of We're Going on a Bar Hunt, comes another hilarious parody of a much-loved children's book. This time, we follow the quest of one man as he attempts to shake off his hangover, through eating whatever he can get his hands on, and annoying his family in the process. The perfect book for anyone who fondly remembers the original, but has now grown up and knows all too well just how painful hungover days can be . . .

The Girl from Lace Island

Author: Joanna Rees

Publisher: Pan Macmillan

ISBN: 144726665X

Category: Fiction

Page: N.A

View: 8486

Some bonds will never break . . . 1989 When happy-go-lucky fifteen-year-old Leila is exiled from her exotic home on Lace Island to a cold English boarding school, it is just the beginning of her woes. Feeling that she's just too foreign to ever fit in, she's desperate to get back to her family and friends. But in her absence, her paradise island has changed beyond all recognition and the life she once loved is now just a memory. Worse still, everyone and everything she loves is now in terrible danger. 2016 Jess dreams of far off places, of white sandy beaches and warm tropical seas. When she gets her longed-for job as cabin crew, those dreams are suddenly realized - especially when she's swept off her feet by the handsome and charismatic Blaise. But Jess has a troubled past and her present is about to become complicated and dangerous . . . Two women, decades apart, their lives submerged in disaster and betrayal. Both are on a mission to find out the truth about Lace Island, but what if their search for paradise comes at too high a price?

Where the Wild Mums Are

Author: Katie Blackburn

Publisher: Faber & Faber

ISBN: 0571321526

Category: Fiction

Page: 32

View: 4621

The day Mum didn't get dressed and went on strike, Dad called her 'a Wild Thing' and Mum said 'Cook your own dinner' and stomped off upstairs to have a bath . . . In this hilarious, touching homage to Maurice Sendak's Where the Wild Things Are, a worn-out mum finds herself floating across time and space to the place where the Wild Mums are. Dazzled by her party tricks, they crown her Queen of the Wild Mums and try to entice her to join their conga . . . But Mum has just remembered who she loves best of all . . . Lovingly illustrated by the award-winning Sholto Walker, this little book is the perfect gift for baby showers, new mums - or any mum who's ever wanted to go on strike.

Evil

Author: Timothy Carter

Publisher: North Star Editions, Inc.

ISBN: 0738722162

Category: Young Adult Fiction

Page: 264

View: 9058

Book of Stuart, Chapter 1:10. 10 And, yea verily, Stuart did commit the Sin of Onan in the shower. And this was witnessed by his own brother who did cry out unto their mother. And there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth. 11 And the townspeople rose up against him and all Onaners, calling upon one another to tear the youthful sinners limb from unclean limb. And there was much pants wetting. 12 And lo, Stuart did join forces with the demon, Fon Pyre, and together they did set forth to discover the cause of the town's trouble. 13 And, hark! A pair of fallen angels would plant seeds of hatred unto the townspeople. And on the seventh day, Stuart did vow to rip the fallen angels a new one and layeth upon them an epic smacketh-down.

Pretty Amy

Author: Lisa Burstein

Publisher: Entangled: Teen

ISBN: 1620611201

Category: Juvenile Fiction

Page: 304

View: 5365

You’d think life couldn’t get much worse than being arrested on prom night. But you’d be wrong. No friends. My two besties, Cassie and Lila, are now officially parentally banned. No summer of freedom. Instead, I’ll be working at a convenience store, earning money just so I can cover bail. No future. Just a series of humiliating “rehabilitation techniques” designed to teach me a lesson. The only silver lining is Aaron—a mystery wrapped in a leather jacket and wielding car keys—who just happens to show up right when I need him. Now I only feel alive when we’re driving together, the wind in my hair. Maybe finally getting a life only happens once you think your life is over.

Bombs on Aunt Dainty

Author: Judith Kerr

Publisher: HarperCollins UK

ISBN: 0007375719

Category: Juvenile Fiction

Page: 336

View: 7867

Partly autobiographical, this is the second title in Judith Kerr’s internationally acclaimed trilogy of books following the life of Anna through war-torn Germany, to London during the Blitz and her return to Berlin to discover the past...

Coal to Diamonds: A Memoir

Author: Beth Ditto,Michelle Tea

Publisher: Spiegel & Grau

ISBN: 0385529740

Category: Music

Page: 176

View: 2024

A raw and surprisingly beautiful coming-of-age memoir, Coal to Diamonds tells the story of Mary Beth Ditto, a girl from rural Arkansas who found her voice. Born and raised in Judsonia, Arkansas—a place where indoor plumbing was a luxury, squirrel was a meal, and sex ed was taught during senior year in high school (long after many girls had gotten pregnant and dropped out) Beth Ditto stood out. Beth was a fat, pro-choice, sexually confused choir nerd with a great voice, an eighties perm, and a Kool Aid dye job. Her single mother worked overtime, which meant Beth and her five siblings were often left to fend for themselves. Beth spent much of her childhood as a transient, shuttling between relatives, caring for a sickly, volatile aunt she nonetheless loved, looking after sisters, brothers, and cousins, and trying to steer clear of her mother’s bad boyfriends. Her punk education began in high school under the tutelage of a group of teens—her second family—who embraced their outsider status and introduced her to safety-pinned clothing, mail-order tapes, queer and fat-positive zines, and any shred of counterculture they could smuggle into Arkansas. With their help, Beth survived high school, a tragic family scandal, and a mental breakdown, and then she got the hell out of Judsonia. She decamped to Olympia, Washington, a late-1990s paradise for Riot Grrrls and punks, and began to cultivate her glamorous, queer, fat, femme image. On a whim—with longtime friends Nathan, a guitarist and musical savant in a polyester suit, and Kathy, a quiet intellectual turned drummer—she formed the band Gossip. She gave up trying to remake her singing voice into the ethereal wisp she thought it should be and instead embraced its full, soulful potential. Gossip gave her that chance, and the raw power of her voice won her and Gossip the attention they deserved. Marked with the frankness, humor, and defiance that have made her an international icon, Beth Ditto’s unapologetic, startlingly direct, and poetic memoir is a hypnotic and inspiring account of a woman coming into her own. From the Hardcover edition.

PhilanthroParties!

A Party-Planning Guide for Kids Who Want to Give Back

Author: Lulu Cerone

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN: 1582705879

Category: Juvenile Nonfiction

Page: 208

View: 5163

36 parties, 36 recipes, 43 games & activities, 32 crafts"--Front cover.

The Gay Teen's Guide to Defeating a Siren

Book 1: the Seeker

Author: Cody Wagner

Publisher: N.A

ISBN: 9780996713504

Category: Gay teenagers

Page: 322

View: 6912

"Came out of the closet by accident? Check. Sent off to a pray-away-the-gay school? Miserable check. Shenanigans ensued? Mega-quadruple check. Blaize Trales's world falls apart when he's dragged to Sanctuary Preparatory Academy, a boarding school that claims to fix gay teens. The place sucks so much they even serve food like "Cleansing Corn". Blaize's misguided parents eat it up and hand him over for brainwashing. But things at Sanctuary aren't what they appear. Blaize soon discovers the school's antics are all a lie. They're also at war with an ancient enemy. Between surviving bullies, rescuing students from mysterious attacks, and passing algebra, Blaize's life is going to get out-of-control crazy. And freaking dangerous. Lucky for Blaize, he wields the ultimate weapon--being gay. And he's pretty good at it"--Page 4 of cover.

Lamb

The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

Author: Christopher Moore

Publisher: Harper Collins

ISBN: 0061798231

Category: Fiction

Page: 464

View: 3982

The birth of Jesus has been well chronicled, as have his glorious teachings, acts, and divine sacrifice after his thirtieth birthday. But no one knows about the early life of the Son of God, the missing years -- except Biff, the Messiah's best bud, who has been resurrected to tell the story in the divinely hilarious yet heartfelt work "reminiscent of Vonnegut and Douglas Adams" (Philadelphia Inquirer). Verily, the story Biff has to tell is a miraculous one, filled with remarkable journeys, magic, healings, kung fu, corpse reanimations, demons, and hot babes. Even the considerable wiles and devotion of the Savior's pal may not be enough to divert Joshua from his tragic destiny. But there's no one who loves Josh more -- except maybe "Maggie," Mary of Magdala -- and Biff isn't about to let his extraordinary pal suffer and ascend without a fight.

The Ofsted Murders

Author: Gary Sargent

Publisher: Lulu.com

ISBN: 1409242145

Category:

Page: 275

View: 1939

The Tiger's Wife

A Novel

Author: Tea Obreht

Publisher: Random House Incorporated

ISBN: 0385343841

Category: Fiction

Page: 353

View: 6347

Struggling to understand why her beloved grandfather left his family to die alone in a field hospital far from home, a young doctor in a war-torn Balkan country takes over her grandfather's search for a mythical ageless vagabond while referring to a worncopy of Rudyard Kipling's "The Jungle Book."

Three Cups of Tea

One Man's Mission to Promote Peace . . . One School at a Time

Author: Greg Mortenson,David Oliver Relin

Publisher: Penguin

ISBN: 1101147083

Category: History

Page: 368

View: 3030

The astonishing, uplifting story of a real-life Indiana Jones and his humanitarian campaign to use education to combat terrorism in the Taliban’s backyard Anyone who despairs of the individual’s power to change lives has to read the story of Greg Mortenson, a homeless mountaineer who, following a 1993 climb of Pakistan’s treacherous K2, was inspired by a chance encounter with impoverished mountain villagers and promised to build them a school. Over the next decade he built fifty-five schools—especially for girls—that offer a balanced education in one of the most isolated and dangerous regions on earth. As it chronicles Mortenson’s quest, which has brought him into conflict with both enraged Islamists and uncomprehending Americans, Three Cups of Tea combines adventure with a celebration of the humanitarian spirit. From the Trade Paperback edition.