What did the ref say to the chicken who tripped a defender? Fowl Why was the footballer upset on his birthday? He got a red card These and many more howlers to make you laugh even if we lose the Cup!!!
What did the ref say to the chicken who tripped a defender? Fowl! Why was the footballer upset on his birthday? He got a red card! These and many more howlers to make you laugh no matter how your team is doing!
Giggles, groans, and belly laughs, packed on every page. Kids can’t resist sharing jokes (even you try to stop them), so they always need a fresh supply. We’ve stuffed the pages of this little joke book with the funniest jokes we could find. Old favorites, new favorites, and a few festering stinkers—all guaranteed to make kids laugh out loud. You'll find Q&A jokes, knock-knock jokes, riddles, and one-liners. And, of course, we’ve included entire chapters of those all-time kid-pleasers: elephant jokes, pirate jokes, and space jokes. Here’s a sampling: What's black and white, black and white, black and white? A penguin rolling down a hill. Why don’t zombies eat clowns? They taste funny. Why did the hen scold her chicks? They were using fowl language. What kind of books do skunks read? Best-smellers! How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side.
Make your friends giggle, guffaw, and groan with disgust at the funniest and grossest jokes ever! It's a 2-for-1 of epic proportions—this book combines our two bestselling kids' joke books! Do you know a kid who likes Q&A jokes, knock-knocks, puns, riddles, or one-liners? Of course you do! This collection has all that and more—over 900 jokes, actually. Perfect for boys or girls, it spans all kid-friendly topics, including fairy tales, animals, monsters, and disgusting jokes that'll make them (and you) want to barf. They'll laugh out loud at zingers like: Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch? A: Beef jerky! Q: Do zombies eat candy with their fingers? A: No, they eat the fingers separately. Q: What kind of life was found on Pluto? A: Fleas! And many more!
Hundreds of the Funniest, Silliest, Most Ridiculous Jokes Ever
Author: William Donohue
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Hundreds of jokes for every occasion! Why was the limbo dancer shocked when his wallet was stolen right out of his back pocket? Because he didn't think anyone could stoop so low. The ultimate collection of the world's greatest funnies, The Best Joke Book (Period) keeps you laughing for hours on end. Inside, you'll find hundreds of jokes that are guaranteed to stir up a room full of smiles, including knock-knocks, witty puns, and one-liners. Complete with hilarious quotes from celebrities like Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, and Jerry Seinfeld, everyone will revel in each gut-busting moment. So whether you're looking to add a few jokes to your repertoire, impress your buds, or improve your banter, this sidesplitting book arms you with the perfect joke for any occasion!
How do ghost footballers keep fit? With regular exorcise. Which football team never meets before matches? Queens Park Strangers. Containing puzzles, crosswords, and jokes, this book provides a way to pass the time during those boring 0-0 draws.
They say it's a funny old game – well, it is now, anyway! This fabulously funny football joke book is a must have companion for all devotees of the beautiful game. With over 1000 mostly original gags, it's guaranteed to have you in stitches and choking on your half time cup of Bovril. Good, clean fun, it would be equally at home in the hands of kids or grandparents, while still providing ample ammunition to consign your mates down the pub to an early bath. All you need to do to become immersed in this maelstrom of madcap mayhem is find a quiet corner somewhere then slowly turn the page... Enjoy! The letterbox rattled and this eight foot length of six-by-four landed with a thump on the carpet. I shouted, the post has arrived, darling. I spotted Rio Ferdinand on his way home from the big game with a mannequin under his arm. I thought, whey hey, someone's sold him a dummy. Did you hear about the footballer who couldn't stop burping? It was a freak hic'. All this criticism of Rafa Benitez for playing a flat back four is bang out of order if you ask me. What else was he expected to do when his defence had just been run over by a steamroller? What did the manager of the Potato Growers' Association football team say during the half time team talk? It's all about Desiree... Sportsflash: Animal rights activists are camped outside Manchester United's training ground after it was announced Wayne Rooney has injured a calf. I've just turned down a dream move to Paris Saint Germain. I must have been in Seine. Rumour has it the manager of the TV aerial company football team resigned just before midnight. No doubt we'll get a better picture in the morning. We lost 1-0 to Battersea Dogs Home. Jack Russell got the winner. I saw this big, pink footballer, with yellow spots, and strands of hair combed carefully across his scalp. It was Blobby Charlton.