A revolutionary and hopeful look at depression as a silent epidemic in men that manifests as workaholism, alcoholism, rage, difficulty with intimacy, and abusive behavior by the cofounder of Harvard’s Gender Research Project. Twenty years of experience treating men and their families has convinced psychotherapist Terrence Real that depression is a silent epidemic in men—that men hide their condition from family, friends, and themselves to avoid the stigma of depression’s “un-manliness.” Problems that we think of as typically male—difficulty with intimacy, workaholism, alcoholism, abusive behavior, and rage—are really attempts to escape depression. And these escape attempts only hurt the people men love and pass their condition on to their children. This groundbreaking book is the “pathway out of darkness” that these men and their families seek. Real reveals how men can unearth their pain, heal themselves, restore relationships, and break the legacy of abuse. He mixes penetrating analysis with compelling tales of his patients and even his own experiences with depression as the son of a violent, depressed father and the father of two young sons.
"What happened to the passion we started with? Why aren't we as close as we used to be?" PROBLEM: If you are a woman who is unfulfilled in your marriage...if you feel unheard or overburdened...if you quietly live in a state of slow-burn resentment... PROBLEM: If you are a man unhappy that your partner seems so unhappy with you...if you feel bewildered, unappreciated, or betrayed... This book offers a solution Bestselling author and nationally renowned therapist Terrence Real unearths the causes of communication blocks between men and women in this groundbreaking work. Relationships are in trouble; the demand for intimacy today must be met with new skills, and Real -- drawing on his pioneering work on male depression -- gives both men and women those skills, empowering women and connecting men, radically reversing the attitudes and emotional stumbling blocks of the patriarchal culture in which we were raised. Filled with powerful stories of the couples Real treats, no other relationship book is as straight talking or compelling in its innovative approach to healing wounds and reconnecting partners with a new strength and understanding.
Young men undergo significant changes during their years in college. They wrestle with big questions, which are essentially spiritual questions, as they ponder who they are, what they believe, what kind of persons they want to become, and how they might shape the world into something they can feel comfortable being themselves in. Those who participate in men's groups realize that their involvement can nurture their inner lives as they explore these questions and connect to transcendent values and a vision of a larger whole. This book includes historical and sociological perspectives on men and spirituality and an expanded case study of how one campus pioneered in the development of men's spirituality groups, which became a model for other campuses. It includes quantitative empirical research that explores college men's openness to spirituality and their interest in men's groups. The book's most extensive discussion is based on a qualitative analysis of thirty-six interviews with male college students, focusing on their understanding of the relationship between their masculinity and their spirituality, and how spirituality groups provided a venue in which they could begin to engage what it means to be spiritual and what it means to be a man.
Strengthening Recovery by Fostering the Emotional Development of Boys and Men
Author: Mark S. Woodford
In the substance abuse and addiction treatment realm, males outnumber females two to one. While gender-issues are seen as a key element of women’s treatment, the acknowledgement that males are "gendered beings" who have lived lives full of male-specific developmental challenges is often overlooked. This text takes a developmental lifespan approach to examine the neurobiological and psychosocial factors associated with substance use disorders for males, specifically in relation to emotional growth and awareness, and how these areas, in turn, affect the development of healthy relationships. Theoretical concepts from the field of interpersonal neurobiology, the psychology of boys and men, and the substance abuse and addiction literature are interwoven with practical clinical examples to help elucidate how the notion of fostering emotional development can strengthen the treatment and recovery processes with boys and men. Relevant case examples are included that illustrate work with males of all ages and address a variety of factors associated with culture, ethnicity, race, religion, and sexual orientation. Mental health practitioners will find this a valuable guide to understanding male development in relation to substance use and abuse and providing more comprehensive, gender-responsive counseling and assessment practices.
When it comes to treating depression, one size definitely doesn't fit all. How do you find the science-based treatment that will work for you? What can you do to restore the fighting spirit and motivation that are so essential for overcoming this illness? Leading psychiatrist-researcher Jesse Wright and his daughter, Laura McCray, a family physician, have helped many thousands of depressed patients discover effective pathways to wellness. Here they describe powerful treatment tools and present a flexible menu of self-help strategies you can try today or turn to in the future. Dozens of easy-to-use worksheets and forms can be downloaded and printed from the companion Web page. Learn proven ways to break the cycle of negative thinking, restore energy and a sense of well-being, strengthen your relationships, and make informed decisions about medications. You can beat depression and keep your life headed in a positive direction. This book shows how.
Drawing on her experience of growing up with a depressed mother and then, years later, of becoming a depressed mother herself, Books for a Better Life winner Anne Sheffield casts long-overdue light on the grave threat to the health and happiness of millions of women and their children posed by maternal depression. One of every four women suffers from depression at some point in her life, often during the prime childbearing years, yet most fail to recognize the true source of their lack of joy in life and in parenting, their irritability and exhaustion, and the flawed personal relationships that characterize this common, treatable disease. With honesty and empathy, Sheffield uses her own story as a springboard to alert other mothers to the dangers their unrecognized depression holds not only for themselves, but also for their children, whose risk of developing the illness is three times higher than the risk to children of non-depressed parents. She draws on extensive research by experts in psychiatry, psychology, and child development to explain why and how children with a depressed mother may lose out on a rewarding social life, perform below their academic potential, or fall victim to substance abuse. Chapters on each age-group -- infancy and toddlerhood, school age, and adolescence -- pinpoint the symptoms and effects of a mother's depression on her children and offer advice on how to recognize these effects and so lessen or avoid them. And because depression's fallout destroys family cohesion and harmony, Sheffield draws attention to its impact on marital relations and outlines a strategy for fathers that will help them and their children weather the crisis. The detailed information in Sorrow's Web about how to treat depression at any period in a mother's life -- during pregnancy or following delivery, when her children are teenagers, or later in life -- will help readers of all ages choose wisely from the range of medical and psychotherapeutic options available. Sheffield offers insider tips on how to tell the difference between good and poor practitioners, how to ensure that the illness does not return, and how to recognize and respond to warning signs of depression in vulnerable children. Dedicated to the author's daughter, Sorrow's Web seamlessly weaves together real-life stories with street-smart advice. As the first book to demystify, destigmatize, and humanize a long- taboo subject, it points the way to sustaining and regaining a loving relationship between mother and child.
Fathering is one of the most basic and profound human activities. Yet in addition to its many joys, fatherhood is often freighted with longing, sadness, anger, and misunderstanding. Most of us, men and women alike, are acutely aware of how difficult it is to father well, year after year, until, and even after, children are grown. At the same time, the essential relationships between men and women and their children are under stress these days as never before, subject to the pressures of work, money, divorce, remarriage, and adoption. As a result, many fathers struggle with deep uncertainties about their parenting abilities. Meanwhile, society's definitions of masculinity appear ever more fluid, negotiable, and unreachable in today's media-saturated culture, which endlessly exposes men (and women) to a stream of images celebrating violence, war, hypermasculinity, athletic ability, corporate competition, alternative life-styles, "metrosexuality," and triumphant materialism. Who, men might rightfully ask, are we expected to be? Do various pop-cultural definitions of masculinity really reflect what it is to be a man? What in men's true natures helps them be good fathers? Can aggression be useful? What masculine traits do fathers need to guard -- and guard against? How do men love their children, and how is being a father very different from and no less essential than being a mother? And how can women understand how men experience fatherhood? This is the rich social reality that Dr. Mark O'Connell, a psychotherapist and father of three, addresses in his provocative, brilliant, and wise book. Drawing on both his professional case histories and personal experience, O'Connell describes the internal conflicts that many men feel about the difficulties of being a father but which they are often unable to discuss easily. Such issues include questions about authority, discipline, intimacy, physical contact, and sexuality. In ways that are distinctly masculine, O'Connell says, fathers communicate standards, insist on respect for others, instigate necessary confrontations, and even engage in the kind of rough-and-tumble play that enlivens the developing neural structures in a child's brain. O'Connell contends that fathers play a crucial role in conveying the rules, expectations, and inevitabilities of life, and he describes how men can help their families by understanding and embracing their own masculinity. Men are different from women and must be allowed to parent differently as well. The Good Father, however, is not just a very readable book for fathers struggling to find their best selves in relation to their spouses and children. Women will want to read The Good Father as well. All men and women have complex and important relationships with their fathers, whether or not those men were good fathers. Dr. O'Connell reveals how men and women alike bring these relationships to their parenting, and how we so often need to untangle these generational knots. Filled with reassuring common sense, The Good Father opens a path toward happier, more satisfying relationships for the entire family while helping men become the good fathers they deeply want to be.
Ideas of masculinity and femininity become sharply defined in war-reliant societies, resulting in a presumed enmity between men and women. This so-called "battle of the sexes" is intensified by the use of misogyny to encourage men and boys to conform to the demands of masculinity. These are among Tom Digby's fascinating insights shared in Love and War, which describes the making and manipulation of gender in militaristic societies and the sweeping consequences for men and women in their personal, romantic, sexual, and professional lives. Drawing on cross-cultural comparisons and examples from popular media, including sports culture, the rise of "gonzo" and "bangbus" pornography, and "internet trolls," Digby describes how the hatred of women and the suppression of empathy are used to define masculinity, thereby undermining relations between women and men—sometimes even to the extent of violence. Employing diverse philosophical methodologies, he identifies the cultural elements that contribute to heterosexual antagonism, such as an enduring faith in male force to solve problems, the glorification of violent men who suppress caring emotions, the devaluation of men's physical and emotional lives, an imaginary gender binary, male privilege premised on the subordination of women, and the use of misogyny to encourage masculine behavior. Digby tracks the "collateral damage" of this disabling misogyny in the lives of both men and women, but ends on a hopeful note. He ultimately finds the link between war and gender to be dissolving in many societies: war is becoming slowly de-gendered, and gender is becoming slowly de-militarized.
This is the paperback edition of 'The Way We're Working Isn't Working'. Through his years of intensive work consulting to companies including Procter & Gamble, Sony, Toyota, Microsoft, Ford and Ernst & Young, with his firm The Energy Project, Schwartz has developed a powerful program for changing the way we are working that greatly boosts our engagement and our satisfication with our work and increases our performance. In this book he marshalls a wide range of powerful evidence from business research and psychology that shows that the current model of work is not only not optimal, it is specfically counter-productive because it saps us of our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual energy. In order for us to perform at our best, we must make a set of key changes in our work lives -- and in order to develop the full potential of their work force, our managers and companies must institute changes that will provide us with the regular physical renewal, emotional reward, mental focus and stimulation; and sense of purpose and significance that we need.